Elena Dykhne Biography

Elena Dykhne "I want you to be and you are not at the same time": I want you to be at the same time on the question of empathic individualization. " What can come to mind, Hogd you hear a similar phrase? Well, for starters, you can suspect that a person is in the grip of the most difficult processes of splitting: wax figures, stuffed animals, stuffed with sawdust, the head of Professor Dowell, in general, is better to stay away.

Less pathological case - if a person had a traumatic experience of early affection, but learned to form a relationship of addiction and has some ideas about himself. Then it can be assumed that the fear of losing oneself and anxiety associated with separation is equally strong, in this case there is a constant search for attachment, with the simultaneous escape from it dependent.

Well, if a person is still normal?

That is: objects differentiate objects, it can distinguish itself from them, reality is not tested, socially successful, able to maintain long object relations, etc. What then can we talk about here? What experience was not received? It seems to be an inability to empathize with another person, at the same time feeling separately - the problem of empathic individualization, the incomplete task of developing a narcissistic personality, sounds beautiful, very much like a sidet.

In the psychotherapeutic literature, you can find many studies on empathy and individualization separately, but there is practically no work related to the issue of empathic individualization. What is this empathic individualization and is it really a specifically narcissistic incomplete task of development? In this article, I am trying to investigate the manifestations of the emphasis of individualization at different stages of human development, and I did not set the task of describing the stages of development on my own, this can be found in the appropriate literature.

In this work, I consider the manifestations of empathic individualization at different stages of development using the example of the presence or absence of two abilities in a person: the ability to be alone and the ability to attach. Only when both of these abilities are developed in a person, the task of empathic individualization can be the task of him. In the absence of any of them - the setting of such a task is meaningless.

To illustrate, I give two clinical examples. The ability to be alone is the question of how, for a long time, remaining next to another person, to maintain sensitivity to internal processes has been occupying me for a long time. This issue is especially acute when a close person is nearby, or that. What is this sensitivity and what happens if it is broken or completely absent?

It is quite difficult to describe this experience, I would say this: these are a moment of rest, when the sensitivity to the border between internal and external reality remains, but the tension associated with their differentiation does not need to be shackled. Winnikot [2] called this property or quality of a person to maintain such sensitivity - the ability to be alone, defining it as an opportunity to experience positive aspects of loneliness in the presence of another.

For me, it is especially important that it is the ability, that is, at each particular point of time, there is the possibility of choosing: to remain alone, to be together or "enter into the position of another." Но такая возможность есть, только если человек способен переносить амбивалентность и имеет относительную свободу от тревоги преследования.

That is, it is the ability to experience the positive aspects of loneliness, in contrast to the fear of loneliness, suffering from loneliness, pursuit of loneliness, planning, memories, fantasizing or detachment that arises as a defense when waiting for punishment. These fears correspond to fixations on unresolved tasks of earlier stages of development. Such a mother or her figure replacing her was called by him "a fairly good mother." If there was no “good enough” mother, then the alarm associated with the separation is so great that the ability to experience genuine loneliness does not develop, the ability to attach, under the ability to affection, I understand the opportunity to maintain identification with one or more aspects of another person in his absence.

If we draw a parallel with the theory of attachment of J, Bowlby [3], then we can say that there is no absence of this ability to judge in the fourth phase of attachment of the attachment phase according to DC. Bowlby: the first phase of birth - 3 months - a illegible reaction to people; The second phase from three to six months is the focus of attention on familiar people; The third phase from six months to three years is an intensive attached and active search for intimacy; The fourth phase is three years - the end of childhood - partnership behavior [5] - the phase of the formation of partnership behavior, when a child can not mentally imagine the behavior of the parent when he is absent.In accordance with this, the child more or less willingly allows the parent to leave.

It is important to note that in order to avoid confusion in terms that under identification I mean the highest type of internalization, compared to incorporation and introjection. During incorporation, the basic distinction between oneself and objects is achieved only in the most general form, and private properties stand out poorly, so feeling yourself is often mixed with the feeling of another, and the fantasies of oral absorption and destruction of the object are also assumed.

Introjection is a more differentiated process in which the private properties and functions of the object are available, but a holistic feeling of oneself, as well as the perception of another as a separate one. Identification is a more electoral process in which various attitudes, functions, values ​​of others are integrated into coherent identity and become full -fledged parts of the subject, competitive with others.

Otherwise, we can say that identification in one or more aspects with another, without losing a coherent feeling, lies at the heart of affection. Introxin is based on dependence, and incorporation implies confusion. In other cases, with the idealizing transfer and transfer of merger, this task can hardly be relevant, since there is no individuality, and object relations are not symmetrical and are based on the use of another as a “function”.

In psychoanalysis, such transfers are called paradoxical. As an illustration, I will give excerpts from the descriptions of two clinical cases. The first is taken from the report of the French psychoanalyst P. Vilgovich "Vampiric transfer of psychoses", made by her at the clinical conference "Psychoanalytic approaches to psychoses", which took place at the Serbian Institute. The case is described as psychotic.

The second is from my practice. I tend to attribute him to the border. I describe these cases to show, it occurs with object relations during paradoxical transfers. In a letter, she refused to meet and invited the therapist to correspond, referring to the unsuccessful experience gained in the previous therapy. According to the psychoanalyst: "She sentenced me to death, and in order to leave me alive, she tried to put me in a certain intermediate space, where we would stir in a fight not for life, but for death ..

She made me hesitate between two poles or remain motionless with damage to my future." The patient called herself an absent or dead, wandering among the living, asked herself to cremate. Rita’s father, when she was small, was a prisoner of war, her mother was constantly depressed, but kept steadily and did not complain. The expression of anger and anger was prohibited by the mother. Rita believed that her mother needs her to fill herself.

According to Rita, the therapist feeds on the internal substance of his patients: “Do not dare to be inside me! It is impossible to withstand the thought of being in the same space. Rita in the mirror saw and did not see herself, and after she saw, she remembered Perseus’s shield and began to think about the Medusa, for a clash with which they are needed, they are not right, she is afraid of itself,” and there is fear of fear, and fear, and fear, and fear, and fear, and fear, and fear of fear, and fear, and fear, and fear of fear, and fear, and fear of fear, and fear, and fear of fear, and fear, and fear, and fear, and fear, and fear, and fear, and fear, and fear, and fear, and fear, and fear, and fear, and fear, and fear, and fear, and fear, and fear.

That I will educate it, and the desire of this was very strong, the stepmother had serious emotional deviations and otherwise they were beaten or locked with curses, such as "you will end life under the fence." "Mother-i-Machekh", that is, all the time expected from me at the same time adoption and punishment. This was manifested, for example, as follows: she called, asked for an extraordinary meeting, saying that something serious happened.

Then she came, she was silent for a long time, then she began to talk about the events that did not excite her, or explained that when she sees me, because of which she called her seemingly nonsense. Later it turned out that she had already discussed everything with “I-Virtual”, and my physical presence and my non-ideal reactions can destroy the ideal image and idealized relationships in fantasy.

And again, the myth of Medusa Gorgon, but in this case, X. Comparative analysis in the first case, aggressive Rita demonstrates the lack of ability to form attachment relations and depreciating transfer, in the second - obedient and submissive X. In both cases, contact is possible only in the "transitional" or mirror space "as if", called the French psychoanalysts "matte" matte space ", and real relations develop.

Paradoxically: the object is forced to be present and absent at the same time, which in the counter -exprodes is felt as immobility or stupor. Obviously, in no case in that case, we are talking about "empathic individualization", and in the best case, about its archaic predecessors: "who will suck whom" and "who bites whom." Personally, I come across her regularly.Here, for example: wrote an article, stated her thoughts in it - like about individualization.

Where to print is about Emlalia or Identification. It seems clear where, "Gestalt -". Why not in the journal of practical psychology and psychoanalysis? There is so many psychoanalytic terminal about GIA, and the problem of choosing gestalt -psychoanalysis has long been relevant. ZHPPIP is a good magazine, especially for slows, such as me, who cannot learn the language properly.

It's nice, again, if your article is in one vomer, for example, with Kochut, Kernberg, or M. What does it interfere? First you need to choose a criterion: an idea or people? Someone said that I did not have enough lightness in mating polarities. " In his honor, the ancient Greeks beat the myth. A special variety of colors was bred in his honor. This explains the fact that the poor fellow had to marry his mother, killing his father.

He became real Oedipus only after he burst his eyes. The author writes: “If we take the conditions of the birth of Oedipus as real, and not as mythological, then it is easy to imagine and understand the future fate of this hero. The object world is so dangerous that the only way out is the flight of our own body, the prototype of its own self - to narcissism. Resulting and rage - these are the affects that have been aid to act.

Edip was not guided And the desire for omnipotence. Only one thing remains a mystery: who was actually a daffodil? Why am I? Well, probably to the question of identification